Planning your wedding is a big task, and you’ll likely need more than a few helping hands as you approach the big day. Whether it’s asking for opinions on the decorations, getting recommendations for the guest list, or running a couple of tradition-breaking ideas past some guests, you’ll likely ask for some feedback.
Of course, you’ll likely get lots of unsolicited advice from friends and family as well. As you’re planning your wedding, you’re bound to realize some of your loved ones have very strong feelings about certain subjects. Maybe your best friend isn’t a fan of your boho-chic décor, or maybe your mother is more of a stickler for the tried-and-true than you thought.
Wedding planning can be stressful enough, and when opinions start flying, it can add tension and unwanted friction to the process. Here’s how you can manage your stress levels and keep outside opinions in check.
Ask Who’s Paying When Planning Your Wedding
As you start the planning process, people will likely begin to give you their thoughts, opinions, and advice on what’s best for your wedding. They may tell you about what they did at their weddings. They might stand by old traditions. Many will likely tell you what they think is the “right” choice.
The first question to ask is, “who’s paying?” If your future mother-in-law is insisting on a huge venue with a massive guest list, ask if she’s footing the bill for it. If not, you can thank her for her thoughts, then calmly explain you have a budget, and a smaller party is the order of the day.
This goes for almost anything anyone suggests. If you’re on the hook for the bill, you need to make decisions that will fit your budget.
Think about Whose Advice You Value
As the advice and opinions roll in, wedding plans can become contentious. You may feel frustrated when different people offer you opposing opinions, and no one can seem to agree.
Give some thought to whose advice you value the most. Do you have a friend who works in catering or the wedding business? Their input may be more valuable than your maid of honour who has been to one wedding in her life. You might put more emphasis on your parents’ advice than that of a cousin you rarely see or talk to.
Get a Second Opinion from the Pros
Talk to your vendors, and use them as the final word on the matter if you need to. Your vendors are professionals, and they’ve worked with many couples over the years. Your aunt might not appreciate that you take their word over hers, but unless she has years of experience in the wedding industry, you’re not necessarily wrong.
It’s a bit like asking who you would trust to fix your car. You probably wouldn’t call the doctor, so why would you listen to a non-professional over the professionals?
If You Break Tradition, Address It before the Wedding
You may not want or need to have a private discussion with every single guest about why you’ve done away with formal seating arrangements. If you do break tradition, however, it can help to get some of your nearest and dearest on board before the big day.
As you’re planning your wedding, make time to discuss your tradition-breaking plans with those you know will be most upset. You may not be able to convince them your way is better, but you may at least be able to smooth some of the ruffled feathers. Having support for these decisions can help you face more staunch opposition.
Your wedding planning shouldn’t be any more stressful than it needs to be. By handling opinionated friends and relatives with grace and class, you can plan the perfect wedding your way.
